Picture Day
by kirstennn
Summary: For Becca. It's picture day, and Bella is totally unprepared. That is, until Jasper comes along... Warning: Incredibly Flamboyant and Fabulous Jasper inside... do not read if you can't stomach his fabulosity.


"Picture day," Bella muttered, her hands on the straps of her backpack and her face half a foot away from the bulletin board in front of her. "Great." Not only had she not showered this morning, but she wasn't wearing makeup _and_ had somehow forgotten to brush her hair. Of course, Edward had been too polite to comment on her atrocious appearance as he drove her to school. He simply smiled at her politely, eerily so, in fact, and left her to figure out that she looked like the monster from the abyss on her own. Oddly enough, Bella didn't feel too badly about the situation at hand, she actually felt like she could go through the day without having a nervous breakdown.

Bella turned to walk away from the bulletin board and shrieked. Her heart flew out of her chest just as her feet left the ground. "JESUS CHRIST!" Standing right there in front of her was Jasper with a wide smile and bright eyes. "Jasper, what the fuck? I almost had a fuckin' heart attack just then! Jesus!"

Jasper continued to grin as he cocked his head slightly to the right. "Sorry, Bella. It's just that I had felt this huge wave of angst and bitterness coming at me, _assailing _me, even, and I found out that it was coming from you. I just wanted to calm you down and see what you were so upset about." Bella breathed deeply, glaring at Jasper all the while. "So… what is it?"

"What is it? What is it? Jasper, didn't you see that poster?" she said, pointing to the printout of three teens smiling and looking extremely dapper.

"Yeah. Picture day today. So what?" Jasper asked innocently.

Bella's jaw dropped. "So what? So what? It's picture day!"

"Did you know that you tend to repeat things?"

"Repeat things? Repeat th- Oh. Sorry."

"Nah, that's fine. But seriously, what's so bad about picture day?"

Bella gestured to herself. "Jasper. Honestly. Take a look at me." Jasper eyed her up and down, then brought his hands to his hips.

"Hmmm…" he said, continuing to examine her. "Yes, you do look a bit… let's say… _disheveled_." Bella pouted.

"Yes, and the worst part is that Alice isn't here to help!" At this, Jasper's face lit up, and he began to giggle. "What? Jasper, what? What did I say?"

"Oh, girlfriend!" Jasper flicked his hand toward Bella in a downward movement. "Don't you know that Alice isn't the only one with fashion sense?"

"Fashion sense? Fashion sense?" Bella repeated, confused.

Jasper reached for her hand and led her toward the girl's bathroom. "C'mon, girl! It's time for a MAKEOVER!"

There were three girls in there, two of whom Bella recognized from her Calculus class. Jasper pushed them away from the mirror and growled, "LEAVE!" The frightened girls all hurried out of the bathroom, each pushing the other to get through the door first. The playful smile returned back to Jasper's face, as he positioned himself behind Bella and placed his hands in her hair.

"You… You know how to style?" Bella questioned incredulously.

Jasper clicked his tongue. "Silly girl! Why do you think my hair is so fluffy and fabulous! I have to find a way to make myself look good when Alice is off hunting, you know!"

"Oh. Okay." Jasper continued to rake his fingers through Bella's tangled hair. A perplexed expression played across his face.

"This is going to take a lot more work than I thought." Bella's face twisted into a countenance of indignity and horror. "Oh, please, Bella. Look at yourself! You look like the monster from the abyss!" Bella stared at her reflection in the mirror, and had to admit that Jasper was completely right. "Well, then. I have some supplies in my locker. You stay here while I go fetch them." He smiled and was gone in an instant.

Bella was left alone to pick at her hair and wonder why Jasper was so eager to help her. She took a strand of hair between her two fingers and looked down to examine her split ends. When she looked back into the mirror, Jasper was standing behind her, smiling creepily again.

"OH BABY JESUS!" she yelled. Jasper giggled at this, then lifted his arms to reveal a heavy-duty tool case and a flat-iron.

"All the essentials! I have a hair straightener, eye liner, shadow, blush," he paused and looked at Bella's pale face. "…bronzer." Bella angrily stared at him through the mirror. "Let's get started!" At this, Jasper spun Bella around to face him. He started powdering her face and brushing her hair.

"You know, Bella…I love picture day, myself. In my 60 years of high school I have _never_ missed a picture day. Not once! I have a shoebox at home with all of my school pictures. Esme and I like to look at them when it's rainy out." Jasper paused and fastened a bobby pin in Bella's hair. "She says I'm the prettiest of all her children."

Bella stared at him incredulously. "Even prettier than Rosalie?"

Jasper eagerly nodded. "Yes! Even prettier than Rosalie! Take that, ice bitch!" At this, they both giggled. Jasper dropped his hands to his sides and began to nod his head slowly.

"What, am I finished?" Jasper laughed at this.

"Yeah, right! I was just thinking, would you like to see some of my pictures? I like to call them my portfolio. I have a bunch of them here in my wallet!"

"Oh… sure, Jasper, I'd love to see your school pictures." Jasper's face lit up. He quickly reached into his back pocket and grabbed for his wallet. With a swift flick of the wrist, he opened the wallet and about fifty pictures unfolded from its center. Bella held on to the wallet and marveled at the beauties inside. "Wow, Jasper, you're… You're gorgeous, did you know that?"

Jasper fanned his eyelashes at her. "Why, thank you, Bella." He went back to working on her hair as she looked through the pictures. After clipping one last bobby pin into her hair, Jasper spun her around to face the mirror again.

Bella almost fell over with joy. She looked almost as good as she did on the night of her prom. "Jeeze, Jasper. Wow. This is… This is…"

"Fabulous?" He interrupted. "Yeah, I know!" Jasper wrapped his shoulder around Bella protectively and led her out of the bathroom. "I can't wait until you're a vampire like us. We'll have so much fun!" As they exited, Emmett had just begun to round the corner. A smile lit up his face when he saw Bella.

"Wow, Bella! You look…" Emmett paused to check if Rosalie was within earshot. He leaned in and whispered "gorgeous!" He opened his arms wide for a hug, and Bella opened hers as well, to return the favor.

In a flash, Jasper was gone from her side and on top of Emmett, punching him. In between punches, Jasper yelled, "Don't… you… touch… her… you… big… oaf… you'll… ruin… her… hair!" Despite Emmett's huge stature, Jasper was able to stay on top of him for a few seconds more. Emmett eventually escaped from underneath Jasper, and was on his own two feet again, dusting himself off.

"Damn, Jasper, I get it! You're sensitive about fabulous hair!" His ego wounded, Emmett walked away. Jasper smiled again, and returned to Bella, who was frightened out of her wits. When he reached to wrap his shoulder around her again, Bella turned away. Jasper was able to get a hold of her anyway.

"Well, I am sure glad that we had this experience together… Aren't you Bella?"

Bella smiled meekly and nodded. "Yes, Jasper… Thanks very much."

"Cool! Now, you go run along and take a fabulous picture!" he said, flinging her toward the direction of the studio set up for picture day. "Ta-ta now! I've got to go work on my own mini-makeover!" Bella walked away slowly, and turned around just in time to see Jasper walking back to the girls' bathroom.

Right before he entered, Bella swore she heard him say "Now, should I go with the curls or with straight hair?"


End file.
